i wear you on my sleeves

i wear you on my sleeve, 

because you are all of my emotions

in one.

i’ve told you to leave,

but you just won’t listen.

but i wouldn’t want you to either,

you make me feel alive.

alive in a way that haunts me at night.

when i can’t sleep until i’ve thought of you at least a billion times.

truly, these feelings should not be crawling in my brain.

but they are.

happily under your spell 

you make me vulnerable,

i can’t even function like a normal human being when you’re around.

it’s out of my control,

my eyes draw circles around your lips and i have to look away because i forget how long i’ve been staring.

you make my mind mush

and that’s okay. 

this is the climb

and when i want to give up,

i think of where i want to be.

i visualize victory and joy and peace

and

take a breath.

i want to be better.

i want more than this.

so i continue to amad,

and stand firm and still.

i’m not giving up this time,

no, not until i see the finish line.