i am so alive

i don’t understand how some people

do not feel as deeply as i.

every infliction, fluctuation, nervous touch upon my heart,

seeps into my being and is circulated throughout my veins.

this is not what pathetic looks like.

this is not what weak looks like.

this is what a burning heart looks like

and how lungs filled with crisp, piercing air inhale 

and then exhale.

this is life.

deep,

true,

horribly beautiful,

frightening and

raw life.

i am so alive.

#nottodaysatan

my feelings keep whining in my ear,

whispering things that i don’t wanna hear,

branding their curse onto my shoulders,

a heavy weight like a ton of boulders.

my heart wrenches forward in an attempt to escape the torment,

but the waging war won’t give my heart and mind a moment.

continuous beatings,

i’m bruised all over,

my skin was warm,

but it’s getting colder.

the voice of truth can get drained out by the rain,

i try to yell and thrash against my brain,

but the pain…

it has adopted my name.

Thoughts Don’t Rhyme

i hardly have a rhyme scheme

for my poetry

because i feel like it

pushes thoughts into superficial forms.

it may sound good to the reader,

but it’s no longer flesh from my bones.

it’s neatly put into a row or stacked into a pattern

but skeletons don’t put themselves together,

they fall into a random, scrambled, beautiful, mess. 

The Chronicles of Envy; a collection of my past. (Series: Lets Be Vocal)

that fact is,

you don’t know me so well,

and i shouldn’t be hurt by your lack of knowledge of whether i prefer purple or blue,

but i can’t help but be disappointed in you.

and at the same time, it’s my fault too,

i kept to myself because you wouldn’t include,

me in the world you shared with a few,

i get that time has been lost and neglected and laid aside,

but i think it’s time that we’ve tried,

to get to know one another.