the devil’s nectar

0603291816471light_lotus-2______m

i like your lips,

don’t kiss my hips,

don’t get too comfortable.

i like the way,

you say my name,

but i know it’s a mouthful.

you’re not finding love,

you’re hooked on a rush,

don’t worry i feel the same.

we don’t need ties,

no lingering goodbyes,

but i like my men with the rain.

we both know what we need,

yet we silently bleed under the sheets,

can’t get enough of whatever this is.

you tell me how much you want me,

i tell you you’re the very air i breathe,

is this how we want to live?

it’s how i want to be in this moment,

you tell me i remind you of a lotus,

i crack a shallow smile.

if this isn’t love, it’s selfish

and i guess i don’t care if it’s hellish,

i’ll be in your arms for awhile.

you shower me with attention,

and oh did i mention?

it makes me levitate.

i don’t admit that i need you,

i know that can’t be true,

but maybe it is in this broken state…

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red light (green light)

being still makes me feel safe.

as if movement is enough to freshly shatter the broken pieces that have been healing.

it is when i must move

left

right

left

right,

that i fear i will slip

and fall.

it’s the fall that hurts,

bruises,

and scars.

if i stay still,

maybe i’ll save myself from it all,

or maybe fear has just convinced me that the place that i am in is 

“safe and sound,”

but really,

i could be sitting on land waiting to crumble.