i wear you on my sleeves

i wear you on my sleeve, 

because you are all of my emotions

in one.

i’ve told you to leave,

but you just won’t listen.

but i wouldn’t want you to either,

you make me feel alive.

alive in a way that haunts me at night.

when i can’t sleep until i’ve thought of you at least a billion times.

truly, these feelings should not be crawling in my brain.

but they are.

i am so alive

i don’t understand how some people

do not feel as deeply as i.

every infliction, fluctuation, nervous touch upon my heart,

seeps into my being and is circulated throughout my veins.

this is not what pathetic looks like.

this is not what weak looks like.

this is what a burning heart looks like

and how lungs filled with crisp, piercing air inhale 

and then exhale.

this is life.

deep,

true,

horribly beautiful,

frightening and

raw life.

i am so alive.

Thoughts Don’t Rhyme

i hardly have a rhyme scheme

for my poetry

because i feel like it

pushes thoughts into superficial forms.

it may sound good to the reader,

but it’s no longer flesh from my bones.

it’s neatly put into a row or stacked into a pattern

but skeletons don’t put themselves together,

they fall into a random, scrambled, beautiful, mess. 

“boys will be boys”

i always walk swiftly passed your

watchful eyes.

i can’t stand to be evaluated by those

puny pupils.

darting between my face and my body, something tells me you’re not interested in my intellect.

you never speak,

you just watch and then continue with whatever had your attention before i walked swiftly by.

i remember your face,

disinterest. burn.