I hate thinking of you

sometimes,

when i am most vulnerable and

i feel the ache of who i remembered you to be crawl back into my mind,

i think of your lips

and your words

and your warmth.

and i regret these thoughts as soon as i allow them to linger and deepen

but

sometimes,

when i stay up too late,

I hate that you ever had a seat in my heart,

you never deserved it.

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