i wear you on my sleeve,
because you are all of my emotions
i’ve told you to leave,
but you just won’t listen.
but i wouldn’t want you to either,
you make me feel alive.
alive in a way that haunts me at night.
when i can’t sleep until i’ve thought of you at least a billion times.
truly, these feelings should not be crawling in my brain.
but they are.
you make me vulnerable,
i can’t even function like a normal human being when you’re around.
it’s out of my control,
my eyes draw circles around your lips and i have to look away because i forget how long i’ve been staring.
you make my mind mush
and that’s okay.
i don’t know what to tell you,
only that you’ve been looking in the wrong places.
a bit restless, a bit reckless.
don’t push me too far,
might jump just for fun.
you might be afraid,
but i will be free.
diving into unconquered space,
oh, i’m on my tippy toes, just say the word.
writing is mine and now it is yours.
she told me to “let it out,”
“it’s okay to cry,” she adds.
all these years, i held it in.
all of it.
a great big ocean swam inside my eyes,
churned and spun in my stomach,
mixing with ugly truth and resentment.
so i let it out.
and it was ugly at first.
my sobs took over my body,
it was beautiful.
now i understand why a rainbow paints the sky after a dreadful storm.
a smile crept up on me and the pain floated a w a y.
it is my responsibility to teach
my parents what their parents
neglected to tell them or didn’t know themselves.