family tree// you just be

family tree

bark resembling something like

a strip tease

peel it back

and reveal the

bad memories

leaving you to drown with your enemies,

you can’t see,

love drowning out your ability

to keep yourself afloat,

better not rock that boat,

you’ll hit rock bottom

suffocating on second-hand smoke,

thought you could save them all,

you’re caught in deaths choke hold

eyes set like flint

grasping at your beloved fools gold.

growing out of optimism

like the suns gone too cold,

like you’ve grown too old,

don’t you know hearts fold, too?

like even if the sky is blue

don’t mean your minds afresh and new,

don’t mean today is better than yesterday,

but don’t think this faith stuff is a ruse,

it’s all true

my dear.

my dear,

the fear that held your lungs in chains,

making sure you stayed afraid

of the dark that consumed your brain,

can no longer retrieve your name.

the roots of your past

have broken your glass

ceiling

breaching

systems that were meant to disrupt your healing

and rob your peace

but don’t shake,

don’t fall into pieces

because all you needed was Jesus,

all you still need is Jesus.

don’t fret

don’t hurt

don’t twist

don’t turn

take a breath as you take a knee.

keep still

it’ll burn us

he’s there

in the furnace

send a prayer up as you fall asleep.

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music in my head

you know those songs that linger with you throughout the day

because they meant something when you didn’t have the words to say it?

those are my favorite songs,

they are my voice.

reality is much nicer when i have this music in my head,

it’s much softer and understanding.

a poet never slumbers

you would think from the amount

of thoughts that cloud my mind during the day,

i’d welcome sleep like a teaspoon of Tylenol to relieve a headache.

but i sit in bed unable to tear my fingers from the keyboard,

unable to turn my mind off and just be.

hold on,

i have just a couple more words to say…

3 a.m Q&A

if i ask you a question

at 3 a.m

please forgive me for the weight of my words.

i’ve been intoxicated by my coffee and poetry

and the music has been circulating through my veins.

at this time of night,

my tongue is controlled by my heart

and

i blurt out words i know i should hold back.

i don’t like that song

i used to love that song,

it’s pulse was synced to my own.

but now it reminds me of the way my

sad eyes wandered around when

my mind couldn’t focus on a single thought.

now it reminds me of the times i would sit

alone

convincing myself that i was destined

to be nothing more than a wilting wall flower.

now it reminds me of the sleepless nights

and the endless thoughts of

“will i ever be enough?”

“will i ever fall asleep?”

i don’t like that song anymore,

maybe one day it will all be a faded memory

but today it stings.

Open Road 🌌

If I could, I’d drive a long stretch of the highway and keep driving until something caught my attention. In the car would be music that thumps in my chest and spills lyrics on my tongue. I’d turn on a slow jam just as the sun begins to set. I would draw out that moment and breath the crisp air of the birthing night. Windows down, hollow sounds. Once night drapes it’s arms around the sky, the music would reflect darkening excitement. Music and open road. No thoughts of home or destination. Just the rumbling of the base and the overflow of words that mean all too much to me.