family tree// you just be

family tree

bark resembling something like

a strip tease

peel it back

and reveal the

bad memories

leaving you to drown with your enemies,

you can’t see,

love drowning out your ability

to keep yourself afloat,

better not rock that boat,

you’ll hit rock bottom

suffocating on second-hand smoke,

thought you could save them all,

you’re caught in deaths choke hold

eyes set like flint

grasping at your beloved fools gold.

growing out of optimism

like the suns gone too cold,

like you’ve grown too old,

don’t you know hearts fold, too?

like even if the sky is blue

don’t mean your minds afresh and new,

don’t mean today is better than yesterday,

but don’t think this faith stuff is a ruse,

it’s all true

my dear.

my dear,

the fear that held your lungs in chains,

making sure you stayed afraid

of the dark that consumed your brain,

can no longer retrieve your name.

the roots of your past

have broken your glass

ceiling

breaching

systems that were meant to disrupt your healing

and rob your peace

but don’t shake,

don’t fall into pieces

because all you needed was Jesus,

all you still need is Jesus.

don’t fret

don’t hurt

don’t twist

don’t turn

take a breath as you take a knee.

keep still

it’ll burn us

he’s there

in the furnace

send a prayer up as you fall asleep.

Advertisements

a daily battle

i want to know who i am

in Christ

and

i no longer want to listen to the opinions of the

one who wants to kill, steal, and destroy

everything i have.

he tells me that i should

go back,

go back,

go back.

everyday, i scream or whisper

no,

no,

no.

it’s the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do

but i have never been so proud of myself.

i am grateful for the ache

to every ache that rattled my veins:

i should not have let you steal from me,

i should not have let you dig your hands into my soul.

but,

thank you for showing me that i am strong.

because of you,

i have learned how to fall on my knees and pray.

you meant to drown me,

but i was already drowning in Gods grace.

thank you,

pain.

hurt.

confusion.

sorrow.

thank you for pointing me to my savior.

this is the climb

and when i want to give up,

i think of where i want to be.

i visualize victory and joy and peace

and

take a breath.

i want to be better.

i want more than this.

so i continue to amad,

and stand firm and still.

i’m not giving up this time,

no, not until i see the finish line.

 

 

The Chronicles of Envy; a collection of my past. (Series: Lets Be Vocal)

that fact is,

you don’t know me so well,

and i shouldn’t be hurt by your lack of knowledge of whether i prefer purple or blue,

but i can’t help but be disappointed in you.

and at the same time, it’s my fault too,

i kept to myself because you wouldn’t include,

me in the world you shared with a few,

i get that time has been lost and neglected and laid aside,

but i think it’s time that we’ve tried,

to get to know one another.

Unbelievable

unbelievable

how much i have changed.

my covers are clean and sparkle

under the bright lights shining down on me.

and i smile when i go off to sleep

because i know in the morning who i will meet,

so i grab hold of life and air

and roll off the bed with effortless grace.

so much grace,

draped down on me but held light and tender on my shoulders.

what was dirty

and mucky

and horrible

and stunk,

is now white as snow.

white as snow.

nowhere to hide because daybreak is no longer a curtain

and there is no theater or seats or dreadful laughter.

night is light and no longer is there a struggle with

hands to my throat

and grave whispers in my ear.

it is unbelievable

how i have changed,

those voices have come to adore me.

 

 

My God

My God.

You have seen this flesh through.

When it consumed me,

When it bled alongside you on the cross,

In your arms, I was wrapped,

Tucked away until I was complete,

And plucked from the edge of

Death.

I almost plummeted but,

You gave me wings,

So now I soar and I’m whole,

And it’s just because of you,

My God.