i’ve been sinking on the low,
cradling my broken pieces in between bent arms,
trying to figure out what i’m going to do with them.
but i forgot that i didn’t have to figure it out alone,
because along with the puzzle, my heart was a riddle Einstein wouldn’t have the brains to solve.
i forgot who went before me,
followed behind me,
and in desperate times, carried me.
He knows my heart and has solved the riddle ages ago,
now we are both waiting:
i wait for him to show me what my eyes cannot see
he waits for me to realize that he is all that i need.
i wait for Jesus.
let me see Jesus.
and when i want to give up,
i think of where i want to be.
i visualize victory and joy and peace
take a breath.
i want to be better.
i want more than this.
so i continue to amad,
and stand firm and still.
i’m not giving up this time,
no, not until i see the finish line.
that fact is,
you don’t know me so well,
and i shouldn’t be hurt by your lack of knowledge of whether i prefer purple or blue,
but i can’t help but be disappointed in you.
and at the same time, it’s my fault too,
i kept to myself because you wouldn’t include,
me in the world you shared with
i get that time has been lost and neglected and laid aside,
but i think it’s time that we’ve tried,
to get to know one another.
how much i have changed.
my covers are clean and sparkle
under the bright lights shining down on me.
and i smile when i go off to sleep
because i know in the morning who i will meet,
so i grab hold of life and air
and roll off the bed with effortless grace.
so much grace,
draped down on me but held light and tender on my shoulders.
what was dirty
is now white as snow.
white as snow.
nowhere to hide because daybreak is no longer a curtain
and there is no theater or seats or dreadful laughter.
night is light and no longer is there a struggle with
hands to my throat
and grave whispers in my ear.
it is unbelievable
how i have changed,
those voices have come to adore me.
You have seen this flesh through.
When it consumed me,
When it bled alongside you on the cross,
In your arms, I was wrapped,
Tucked away until I was complete,
And plucked from the edge of
I almost plummeted but,
You gave me wings,
So now I soar and I’m whole,
And it’s just because of you,
At the end of the day,
While my love had weakened and strengthened and failed and triumphed,
Yours remained the same.