welcome…

once i realized i couldn’t be

you or you

or you or you,

i was left with me,

a type of lonely i wasn’t acquainted with,

a type of alone i had to learn to love.

i despised it at first,

my jealous eyes scavaged the sea

for something i could replicate

in order to feel whole.

but each time i sent the line out,

i reeled it back to find my hands empty.

void.

that is what i felt,

when i had to be by myself.

but soon,

almost painfully,

i accepted my own solitude,

and soon,

not so painfully,

i embraced who i found.

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music in my head

you know those songs that linger with you throughout the day

because they meant something when you didn’t have the words to say it?

those are my favorite songs,

they are my voice.

reality is much nicer when i have this music in my head,

it’s much softer and understanding.

silence has always come naturally

i’m so bad at talking to people,

my feelings get stuck in my throat.

they ask me what’s wrong and i

rush to persuade them that i

am the best i’ve ever been,

even if i’m hurting on

the inside.

it’s how i’m made,

it’s why i take much easier to pen and paper.

the paper does not have to understand me,

it only has to absorb the ink i’m bleeding.

and for that, i am grateful for such a companion.


yeah, but you’re lonely.

no i’m not…

i’m great.

The Chronicles of Envy; a collection of my past. (Series: Lets Be Vocal)

that fact is,

you don’t know me so well,

and i shouldn’t be hurt by your lack of knowledge of whether i prefer purple or blue,

but i can’t help but be disappointed in you.

and at the same time, it’s my fault too,

i kept to myself because you wouldn’t include,

me in the world you shared with a few,

i get that time has been lost and neglected and laid aside,

but i think it’s time that we’ve tried,

to get to know one another.