i see things you can’t see,
and i wonder why i’m here in the first place.
nothing to truly take in and ponder,
only mouths speaking somewhat of a different language and heads bobbing up and down to each other.
i don’t belong here.
and i think they see it.
or maybe they don’t care to see me,
but they make sure i see them.
in their hands, they hold trinkets and talk about gold cars and places,
in my hands i hold dust and dirt and make them dance in the wind of my imagination.
i am here
and that’s okay,
because i am allowed
to take up space.
i breathe out.
she told me to “let it out,”
“it’s okay to cry,” she adds.
all these years, i held it in.
all of it.
a great big ocean swam inside my eyes,
churned and spun in my stomach,
mixing with ugly truth and resentment.
so i let it out.
and it was ugly at first.
my sobs took over my body,
it was beautiful.
now i understand why a rainbow paints the sky after a dreadful storm.
a smile crept up on me and the pain floated a w a y.
it is my responsibility to teach
my parents what their parents
neglected to tell them or didn’t know themselves.
i always walk swiftly passed your
i can’t stand to be evaluated by those
darting between my face and my body, something tells me you’re not interested in my intellect.
you never speak,
you just watch and then continue with whatever had your attention before i walked swiftly by.
i remember your face,
if you are not suffocating,
you are afloat only by the constant churning of your belly.
that fact is,
you don’t know me so well,
and i shouldn’t be hurt by your lack of knowledge of whether i prefer purple or blue,
but i can’t help but be disappointed in you.
and at the same time, it’s my fault too,
i kept to myself because you wouldn’t include,
me in the world you shared with
i get that time has been lost and neglected and laid aside,
but i think it’s time that we’ve tried,
to get to know one another.