let me go.
NO,
don’t let me go all the way.
with every word, i roar.
let me go.
NO,
don’t let me go all the way.
unbelievable
how much i have changed.
my covers are clean and sparkle
under the bright lights shining down on me.
and i smile when i go off to sleep
because i know in the morning who i will meet,
so i grab hold of life and air
and roll off the bed with effortless grace.
so much grace,
draped down on me but held light and tender on my shoulders.
what was dirty
and mucky
and horrible
and stunk,
is now white as snow.
white as snow.
nowhere to hide because daybreak is no longer a curtain
and there is no theater or seats or dreadful laughter.
night is light and no longer is there a struggle with
hands to my throat
and grave whispers in my ear.
it is unbelievable
how i have changed,
those voices have come to adore me.
thoughts like fists around my throat,
growing unconscious from its tight hold,
this was how i used to fall asleep.
The worst part about losing yourself is not the process in which you dress yourself in all matters of darkness and go to foreign places that beckon the other side of you…
No, it’s the constant thought of:
“Will I ever get those pieces back?”
If you knew the thoughts floating in my head half past one, would you hand me a bible or would you hand me a gun?
Would you give up on me? Throw in the towel on my behalf? Tell me,
It’s unfixable.
Drown out all bellowing yells of victory and point and lead me to where darkness hides best–in myself.
Or.
Or would you tell my frail heart to stop feeding me lies my spirit despises?
Would you cradle my mind into your sacred arms and take me by the hand and walk with me?
Even when it gets dark enough to hear evil howl, will you still walk with me?
I beg of you,
Walk with me.
A touch,
A smile,
A glance.
All internalized into my little head.
It’s not like I’m desperate to hold you,
To be held by you.
But it’s cold in here and I’ve been here alone for quite some time.
I can’t call this love,
It isn’t even infatuation.
It’s pure attraction.
Your eyes and your hair that falls to your neck, sweeping past your ears.
I have a lot of time to stare and think but the more I look, the more I can’t breathe.
It’s the passion that’s enticing.
The moment where our eyes meet and I’m carried back to safety.
I’m safe in my house but,
I’ve been here alone for quite some time.
i think we were given brains to speak our mind,
not to think ourselves into a trench too deep to climb out of. not to spend our lives there and just die.
“If this beauty is one-sided, hand me a mirror and I’ll do all the giving.”
I’ve looked at you a million times by now and somehow I still find something worth gazing at. You stand with your head slightly to the sky and my eyes follow to the heavens you must be equally stunned by. I can’t see your eyes from where I’m standing but I imagine them to be something like a tossing ocean. Unsettling but hypnotizing, sending anyone who looks upon them into a deep, deep sleep. Your hair, a swirl of brown and, is that orange? Yet another thing I have discovered about you. My oh my, you’ve got my head in the sea.
She walked into the world, a locket in the midst of torturing chains. Pain had not yet emptied itself into her vibrant red veins.
She was a castle and her mind the throne. What she couldn’t see were the cracks in society’s bones.
She walked on water but she didn’t know, there were beasts hiding beneath, calling her home.